Please continue winning games by 24 even when Rashard Lewis scores only 2 points. Monsieur Redick, please continue shooting 5-8 from 3 point land and grabbing 2 boards to go along with 3 assists and a steal. Not only will this make you one of my favorite players, since you are short and white it will make you one of the league's least favorite players, and that is far more valuable. It has always been my dream to cheer for Danny Ferry.
Adonalius Foyle, you have chosen not to imitate the dark lord known as Darko; instead, you have put up 14 pts, 8 rebs and 3 blks on 5-7 shooting in 23 minutes. This is exceedingly good.
Turkish Jester! You who entertain us so: thank you for continuing to be the most underpaid player in the league, and possibly the best all-around player on our team. I could high five you over and over until my hand bled - I'm sure you would out-five me, since you are such an all-around player and must slap palms after so many excellent plans.
Magic Men! Thank you for this brief sign of hope! And remember: if you blow it, I will personally frame each and every one of you for the kidnapping of a blonde sorority girl, and Nancy Grace will come to your house and beat you to death with her club of Morality.
Sincerely,
Joseph G.
P.S. Carlos Arroyo 5 for 6? Nah... I won't get my hopes up that high. Probably those 12 assists from Jameer.
...Wow.
